| hi. |
[02 Feb 2008|10:05pm] |
does anyone read this anymore?
i really would like to know
i miss writing
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| things i am looking forward to: |
[20 Feb 2007|01:30pm] |
my friend stephen and i are going to baltimore to see deerhoof on sunday
and you better bet i will be playing that black eyes song where they're like "heading south from (to) baltimore..." deformative. yeah!
da da da da
'cept we will be heading north (i think)
also. wine party on thursday
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[16 Feb 2007|04:25am] |
| [ |
mood |
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flushed |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Animal Collective! |
] |
i mean, he's just beautiful.
you have no idea.
just so beautiful
oh my god!
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[28 Jan 2007|04:57am] |
i do enjoy living in the moment
and just being free
but after it all settles in, and i realize things...and i start recognizing how i feel ...
things change
like, now
i don't like it
or what happened ... even if it was BRILLIANT AND SPECTACULAR when it occurred.
i have very different feelings about someone now as opposed to how i felt about them a few weeks ago
and even my views on certain things differ now from then
why do my feelings change so often?
insatiable.
(i guess i am making no sense right now)
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| doll heads. disillusion. damned. |
[19 Jan 2007|05:08pm] |
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on monday i returned from l.a, san francisco and seattle
though my mind is still in all three of these states
why why why
i have no self control. i never thought this was an issue. i mean, not a huge one anyway.
i got what i wanted though. a year later.
alas!
the maintenance man in my new apartment is getting to know me better everyday
today he came in and made the water in the shower hotter
i told him i liked it to be almost scalding
i walked around in my pajamas and no bra. then had a 30-minute telephone conversation with clay.
i miss singing blues songs on our way to 5th & blanchard at 4 in the morning.
please, more. please.
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| Subject? |
[16 Dec 2006|07:18pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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groggy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Sebadoh |
] |
i have to figure out all of these details and i am just not freaking out enough, even though i know i should put some effort into it.
what days do i want to go to washington d.c? when do i move into the new apartment? how fast can i get all of that done so i can go to california? who do i need to get christmas presents for? and WHAT am i getting them?
what else?
i keep having these weird dreams and i think they really happened. it's crazy. i realize a few hours after being awake that they never happened. i really thought my friend and i had a conversation and decided on something, so when i talked to her about our "decision" later she informed me that it was just a dream.
alright. well.
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[27 Oct 2006|09:41pm] |
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i want scrambled eggs from waffle house
i want my best friends here with me
i want to share a bed with someone
i want simple Truths
and freedom from fear
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[27 Sep 2006|10:20am] |
Poll #831244 Studying Abroad
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 18Where Should Claire Study Abroad Next Semester?
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| BECAUSE I KNOW *EVERYONE* READS SONG LYRICS |
[19 Sep 2006|07:15pm] |
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I couldn't sleep so I took a pill
with a dirty glass of water from a low pressure hell
Someone buy a round before my liver fails
and you know it will
How many of you will be
left to make a scene
at my funeral party
Set my soul at ease by spinning wire
as I lay on my side
cause it's the earth which I have known since birth
So clap your hands if you wanna be
the little princess who finally gets the pony
or the one that steals the life from me
With that long sleeve thrift you found in Grand Forks
to cover up your track marks
Cuz when you finally come down
the pony you've been riding around town
turns out to be a man
And then overheated crimping iron burns your hands again
How many of you be will be
left to drink whiskey
at my funeral party
Remember to bring your flask
and pour a shot for
your dead homie
Shake your ass around my casket
and bring your beach blankets
Volley balls, wine coolers
Spin your favorite records.
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| NMH |
[07 Aug 2006|02:00pm] |
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| SUMMER. |
[18 May 2006|04:55pm] |
i just keep telling myslef that peanut butter & jelly sandwiches are truly amazing and i should be happy that i eat them 24 fucking seven.
where the hell can i get some frozen lemonade in this city?
it is 85 degrees.
around midnight we played capture the flag in the park.
an ex-boxer tackled me to the ground. he forgot the no-tackling-girl rule. my pants fell to my knees.
around 2, the twenty of us ran from the cops.
"it's different now that we're not seventeen"
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| i need ground control |
[02 May 2006|02:25am] |
| [ |
mood |
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idontknowhowtofeel |
] |
blake threw something across the living room and this particular object accidentally landed on my laptop's keyboard and fucked it up for a bit. i restarted the cpu, but for some reason this made me lose my final research paper. no recovery!
so i'm starting over.
on some form of legal speed. it's ok. i just feel jittery. i hope i dont start crying.
i just drank a big mug of caffienated tea.
you see my biggest fear is that i will fall asleep, while i am typing and not finish.
so me and the dismemberment plan, we're trucking away at this paper. i think we'll get it done by eight this morning. we better. i have a written exam at 10.
i'm talking craziness.
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| ... |
[01 Apr 2006|05:50pm] |
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one month of school left, yet i am so far away from it. so so so far.
thursday night i could not bring myself to do homework.
instead, my roomate and i got drunk and went to the gym. we swam laps! and i fell asleep in the sauna.
friday night i saw the love of my life and his evil friend and then i went to the gym again.
walking home at 1:30am was a creepy thing, but very okay because i got to see everyone drunk walking up and down the streets. they're friendly
today i have been rehearsing. then blake and i are going to see minus the bear (!) and thursday (hi ninth grade) and some other band.
my brother and his roomate played a very mean trick on me for APRIL FOOL'S day. i will kick their asses next time i see them. i was so scared. i started crying in front of my friend max. he was worried. DON'T FUCKING SCARE ME. furthermore, i'm too far away for people i love to be going to jail and dying. fuck that. that's so fucked up. i was scared and it wasn't nice. i'm still a sensitive girl.
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| don't stop y'all, to the beat y'all |
[09 Mar 2006|07:22pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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hot |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Culture (i kid, i kid) |
] |
wow i really wish i was in birminghammmmm's bubble right now so i could hear all about the church arsonists and how my friend's sister's old roomate's brother was FRIENDS with one of them. or how they were crazy ass THEATRE kids who all grew up in the affluent suburbs of birmingham and whose daddies were DOCOTRS. maybe dr. cloyd was the one who wrapped my ankle at st. vincent's that summer i sprained it!
i joke, i joke
REALLY THOUGH
americans already dislike Y'ALL
i get shit about being "from the south" on a weekly fucking basis
WEEKLY BASIS! i have to defend and scowl and glare until my blood curls
i try to save us.
best thing i ever did was leave and experience more of AMERICA. (and all of its flaws)
...
wait no - i lie, i lie
it was NOT the best thing i ever did
but it sure gave me some perspective.
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| sometimes my memories feel like dreams / hearts |
[25 Feb 2006|05:48pm] |
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i might get rid of livejournal and myspace in the near future but i will never ever get rid of facebook.
my best friend from early elementary school just found me on there. i am completely shocked. i don't even know what to say yet in my reply message.
hannah grates. she moved from marshall to another town in michigan because of, as my mom explained to me, “hard times." she was the most beautiful and warm girl. even at nine years old i could tell. god. i am so glad she is going to college and seems to being doing well. i wonder what her life has been like! she moved around a lot when she was younger and we eventually lost touch after i moved. she was such a sweet girl.
i just looked at her pictures and she turned out to be a drinker and i'm glad because i know she’s going to look at my pictures now and try to see what my life has been like just as i did with her and i wouldn't want her to look at my pictures in shame or something.
a few days before she moved, we found two small stones in my front yard that were shaped like hearts. we got my dad to drill a hole at the top of them and then we threaded them with tweed strings to make necklaces.
on the back of mine, she wrote "i love you."
i still have the heart in my scrapbox here in seattle with me.
the day she moved, i remember crying for hours and my mom just holding me. i wish i could call my mom right now. but i will not be sad. i am happy. i must be.
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[06 Jan 2006|11:41pm] |
It's different now that I'm poor and aging
I'll never see this place again
You'll go stabbing yourself in the neck
< 3
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[08 Nov 2005|10:54am] |
"YOU ARE NO ARISTOTLE, BEER ASIDE"
end quote, one of my history professors
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unprovoked's journal
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